Uncertainty of the Unknown

The stress is always in not knowing.. Am I going to be alright, is this all wrong. Last week I went to the doctors for the first time in about 3 years. Not having affordable medical insurance makes it hard to plan regular visits and that partly falls on me since I havnt made medical a priority. For as long as I can remember I have always had "period" and hormonal issues.It's not something that I like to openly share but it has really opened up my eyes to the fact that I need to take my health more seriously.

When you have the cold or flu you know that you will feel better in a matter of days. Having the uncertainty of various syndromes or diseases is not as comforting. I can't just believe that everything is going to be as good as it was before. At my doctors appointment I Found out that I could have what is called Cushing’s syndrome which causes a Pituitary Tumor and could potentially cause other tumors as well.  I was also informed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which is also upsetting because my older sister was  informed not long ago that she has PCOS as well.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared because I am totally freaking out inside. I am scared at knowing that I could potentially have a tumor in my brain. I am scared at knowing that I may never be able to have my own children. I am scared at the possibility that there could be even more wrong with me than just this. For so long I have always put others needs ahead of my own at any cost and that was even at the cost of my own health. 2016 has so far taught me that it is alright to be selfish with myself and take care of the things that I need to for me. It doesnt mean that I love and care any less for anyone but it shows that if I dont take care of myself first then I will not be able to take care of anyone else.

If you'd like to learn more then here are some links:

PCOS: http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.html

Cushing's Syndrom: http://pituitary.mgh.harvard.edu/CushingsSyndrome.htm#Diagnosis


Think Positive ~XoXo